


Holding On

by archura



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Tragedy, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Academia, Fantastic, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating, Reincarnation, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Character Death, curse, it's not all sad and depressing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archura/pseuds/archura
Summary: Noah Doe had a series of unfortunate events that made his life a little different than most of the people. When he was adopted at the age of 14, his bad luck seemed to disappear.What he didn’t know was that bad things were yet to begin.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	1. prologue

The last time Andrew saw Neil was little over 18 years ago and he was doing fine. Fine, as in he didn't have to force himself to get out of the bed. Fine, as in he only let grief take over him once a day. Fine, as in he didn’t have to leave the room when Kevin accidentally spoke Neil’s name. Fine was an open word, it could mean anything between the lines of good and bad and if it can make people get off from his back, he would use it.

The first few years after Neil’s death were hard as always. Grief was something Andrew never managed to get used to and it didn’t matter how many times he had to overcome it. He knew Neil would come back, he always came back but it was still hard. Watching him die in front of his eyes and waiting for almost two decades to get him back only to lose him again was cruel. They were stuck in a loop and there was no way out.

He tried everything. He tried protecting him, he tried sacrificing himself to save him, he even tried avoiding him as much as he could but it never changed the outcome. Neil had a painful death every time and Andrew had to live with what was left. Memories and promises that were broken.

Andrew took a drag from his cigarette and threw the rest of it to the ground. He knew it could happen at any minute, any day and he also knew it was going to happen sooner than he expected.

Neil was supposed to be around 18 years old now, his birth month changed every time he reincarnated but he always died the day he turned 19. Like clockwork.

It’s been 18 years and 3 months since Neil died.

"I hate this." He heard Kevin mutter.

Andrew didn’t have to turn to him to know the look on his face. Kevin, his partner, was leaning on the car door next to him. Andrew didn’t answer him, he knew there was nothing that could make Kevin feel better about this.

The three of them had an unusual relationship. At least that was what people thought. Soulmates are usually created as a couple. Not as a trio. But here they were, finding their way back to each other every time. Neil falling in love with both of them each time, no matter how different the things are.

"Every time I go out I feel like I will run to him." Kevin continued after a while. "You would think we got use to it by now but it never gets easier."

"I told you that we can always leave before it happens." Andrew finally spoke. He hated the idea but he was willing to do it if it would help Kevin in any way. Losing Neil was painful for both of them but seeing Kevin hurting on the top of that was not helping.

"Last time," Kevin started, his voice broke at first but he continued with determination. "Last time he died alone. We didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. I’m not leaving him alone again."

"Okay." Andrew said. One more death. One more pain they will have to endure before repeating this in 18 years later. It was fine. It was always fine.

"Okay."


	2. series of unfortunate events, cursed boy and the baseball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then and now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> \- Implied /referenced deaths (accident, murder, suicide). Very short.  
> \- Mentions of scars.  
> \- Forced drug/medication use.  
> \- Mentions of withdrawal.

**Then**

_Noah Doe was not a lucky person. Growing up in the foster system and losing foster families taught him that much. He knew he had it better than most of the foster kids. The families he stayed with were mostly nice, really, but Noah just had some series of unfortunate events that followed him wherever he went._

_When he was 3, the first foster family that welcomed him to their lives died tragically by an explosion caused by a gas leak. Both of the foster parents were in the kitchen when they decided to start cooking for dinner and Noah was in his room, taking a nap. The fire spread rapidly but thankfully their neighbours managed to save Noah before it reached his room._

_When he was 5, Noah and his two foster moms were involved in a car accident that killed everyone except him. The firefighters that saved him from the wrecked car found him on the back seat, tucked safely with only a small cut on his right cheek._

_When he was 9, his foster father intended to kill everyone in the house and then himself, but before it was Noah’s turn, the cops showed up and Noah once again became the only survivor._

_After that, no foster families wanted to have him. Noah Doe considered to be cursed. That's why when he was only 10, he was given to a catholic orphanage._

_Noah didn’t remember the years he spent on that orphanage that much. Thanks to the heavy medications he was given, the only thing he managed to remember was the time he spent on the classroom. When he was not learning mandatory grade classes, he was mostly knocked up from the medications. Unlike the other orphans, he was given a small room that only belonged to him and he was pretty much locked up in there all the time._

_Time went by quickly with lots of sleeping and a ridiculous amount of "praying" and before he could take track of the years, he was adopted by a mysterious man at the age of 14._

_Noah only saw the man once. It was the day he came to pick from the orphanage. He was tall, skin white as snow and his black hair combed neatly to the right. He had a mean, scary look on his face and even though he only ever looked at Noah’s face once, the effect of the stare still haunted him._

_The man referred to himself as Adam._

_Even though Adam was his new legal parent, Noah still had his last name as Doe and he was mostly taken care of by an old lady named Rüya. Rüya was in her late 50s, she had long white hair she mostly hid under a thin scarf that was hand embroidered with tiny flowers. She was nice. Noah never had a grandmother before, but she was the closest thing he could have as a mother figure. She took good care of him when he was still having withdrawal symptoms from the medications he was using for the past 4 years, always making sure that he was hydrated and well fed. Sometimes she even hugged him, telling him stories from her teenage years._

_When Noah recovered enough, he was enrolled in a private highschool where he met Exy. The team was big in the state. One of the best highschool Exy teams in the country. Even though Noah had no experience of playing it, he still got into the team thanks to his speed. They put him to the sub team. A grumpy sophomore girl named Angelica taught him the game and before he was a junior, he became the starter striker of the team._

_The chain of unfortunate events that cursed the majority of his life didn’t stop when he was adopted by Adam. Okay, maybe people stopped dying around him but he was still in some bad luck._

_Absolutely everyone disliked him. He wasn’t sure why he was being disliked this much when he rarely ever spoke with anyone but he knew he was disliked. He had no friends, he had several bullies (it wasn’t that bad, really) and he never seemed to be good enough to get a higher grade than C. Even his coach seemed like he was only tolerating him because he was the star of the team._

_Regardless of his unpleasant highschool experience, he managed to graduate without anyone dying. When he turned 18 and Adam somehow managed to enroll him in the most expensive and exclusive University in the country, he was lost._

_Noah didn’t have dreams. He didn’t think about his future as he was constantly surrounded by death growing up. Even after he was adopted by a mysterious rich man, he didn’t think what he would do when he turned 18._

_And here he was, celebrating his 18th birthday with Rüya and eating the strawberry cake she made for him._

_"You need a haircut." Rüya said before moving the auburn curls from Noah’s eyes. "What do you think?"_

_"Don’t care." Noah shrugged. He never really cared about his appearance. He knew he was attractive. His past foster moms always talked about how handsome he is. His auburn hair and big blue eyes were not a rare combo but it was not common either. It always made him stand out in the adoption days._

_"What about dyeing it? Hmm? Would you like that?" Rüya slid another slice of cake to Noah’s plate. "Black? Brown? Yellow?"_

_"Either we dye it neon green or we are not doing it." Noah said with a fake seriousness. When he heard Rüya chuckle, he gave her a small grin. "Black." He added after a moment._

* * *

  
  


**Now**

  
  


Noah hated the campus the second he arrived. 

It wasn’t because it was ugly. No. The campus was big and beautiful but it had an aura that made Noah feel… _Uncomfortable._ Noah wasn’t sure if it was because the buildings were made in the 1800s or the fact that there was a huge graveyard a few kilometers outside the campus. Maybe it was the fact that everything was black and gray. No amount of green on the ground helped campus look not depressed. 

"Watch out!" A loud yell forced Noah out of his thoughts. 

Before he could catch up with the cause of the yell, a sharp pain blossomed on his right arm. Noah hissed quietly and his eyes met with the dirty baseball that fell right next to his feet.

"Dude, are you okay?"

A tall, big man ran to him with a worried look on his face. 

Noah grabbed the baseball from the ground before answering him. "Yeah," he squeezed the ball. _That fucking hurt._

"Sorry about that. I’m Matt." The man said. Even though his voice sounded sincere, he had an amusement look on his eyes. He stared at Noah’s face for a short second before reaching out for the ball on Noah’s hand. "You are a freshman?"

Noah only gave a nod when he realized it was a statement more than a question.

"Cool." Matt said, giving him a small smile. "And you are?"

"Noah."

"Nice to meet you then." Matt said. He turned to his back quickly before pointing out a group of people standing a few meters away from them. When Noah looked that way, one of the girls waved at him. "These are my friends. You can come and say hi whenever you see us around. We don’t bite. I promise." He gave a bigger smile this time.

Noah was not used to kindness. He was also not used to friendliness so he wasn’t sure how he should act like when he received one. He didn’t mind loneliness, but he also felt like he wouldn’t mind if he could make a few friends to hang out from time to time.

"Yeah sure." Noah said, trying to give him a small smile. He could only hope it didn’t look weird on his unpracticed face. "I need to move to my dorm room. So-"

"Need a hand? Which dorm are you staying?"

"No need. I don’t have many stuff." He pointed out at his backpack. When he realized Matt was still waiting for the answer to his second question, "Athletes dorm?" he quickly added. 

Matt’s eyes darkened when he realized Noah was an athlete. "Exy?"

Noah nodded. He didn’t miss the weird tone Matt used when he said " _exy"_. 

"Cool." Matt forced a fake excitement. He rubbed his neck awkwardly but when his eyes finally found Noah again, his smile was real. "See you around later. Yeah?"

"Sure."

Noah didn’t wait to see Matt walk away. Instead, he turned away and fixed the backpack that was falling out of his shoulders. When he was ready to walk away, his hand found the necklace that was peeking under his hoodie. 

"Look Rüya," He said as he grabbed the pendant Rüya gave him a few years ago. "I’m doing fucking fantastic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/archurabasty)


End file.
